On Peeing

Article Table of Contents

• Introduction
• Elimination Communication (useful for infants and their caretakers)
• On the Squatty Potty
• On why I sit when I pee
• Bidets and Wand Bidets
• Notes on a two-container toilet system
• Small people peeing
• Conclusion
• Footnotes

Introduction #

Yes, peeing. Also called ‘pissing’, or ‘urination/urinating’. I noticed a collection of thoughts emerging in my mind, tied together with a very specific theme. I was pretty grown before I had necessarily encountered any of these things, so if any of this is interesting or relevant to any of you, may it go well for you. Please see todays ten thousand for more context.

Also, would you believe this is only the second most contentious thing I am writing today? The piece that is full of actual spicy takes: I think I believe in magic, & implications

Elimination Communication (useful for infants and their caretakers) #

The first way I want to talk about peeing is to bring attention to something that is pretty darned cool, and I was routinely fascinated by my own observations of it.

“Elimination Communication” is a strategy of learning to communicate with an infant around its own elimination.

It’s a full drop-in strategy/replacement for what someone is talking about when they say “potty training” or “using diapers” today. (Eden never ‘got potty trained’ because she never ‘got diaper trained’.)

Babies have routines around when they pee and poop, like you and me. If you leave a newborn naked on a puppy pee pad or a little helper waterproof mat while they’re doing their normal infant thing, you’ll be able to see when they eliminate.

You might notice that there is facial expressions or movements or sounds that happen before the elimination, and you might start giving the kid ‘potty-tunities’, where you hold them seated in your lap over a little tupperware, when it seems like a good time. (upon transitions, after they’ve been sleeping, seated for a while, etc)

You take a deep breath for relaxation, their back against your chest, and as you exhale you say “pss pss” or maybe ‘mm mm’. If they have a pee, they might pee, a poop, they might poop. Otherwise, they might squirm a bit and crawl right off and carry on with the day. We taught eden how to say ‘all done’ as one of her first hand signals, so she could simply wave a hand in the air when done.

You’ll always give more ‘potty-tunities’ than the kid needs, and once you start giving enough well-timed potty-tunities that the kid happens to using the container regularly, you’ll be amazed at how much ease exists in your life.

It’s peaceful, and how traditional socieities without industrialized diaper systems would did this. It’s how many people around the world today learn. no diaper changes, can be done literally anywhere, without interrupting anything, like a conversation. If outside, one can help the kid pee into the grass. No container required.

Eden wore lots of long shirts, no diaper or pants, and then legwarmers that went all the way up her legs. We could give her a pottytunity with zero fuss, and she quickly learned the routine of it too. She was only a few months old when often enough she would wake up from a long nighttime sleep with a dry diaper, as soon as she stirred, we’d give her a pottytunity, and immediately she released a huge amount of urine, and then was ready to begin the day.

It’s an experience.

I’d suggest starting with the go diaper free podcast/resources, if you find yourself in this spot.

Forms of ease that were experienced were:

• easy to use cloth diapers, because MOST eliminations would be effortlessly caught in a container
• zero “diaper rash”. (i didn’t know that the reason some diapers talk so much about how absorbant they are is bc it’s common to leave a soiled diaper on a kid in some situations! Couldn’t be me)
• eden never had to cry to announce an upcoming elimination, OR to announce that that she had a wet diaper. She usually didn’t wear diapers of any sort, and never when anything was wet. Obv she eventually was able to simply announce to us when she needed help with the bathroom.
• paired well with a bidet (more on that below)

On the Squatty Potty #

I’ve long been very pleased with the squatty potty I’ve had. I suggest you watch this extremely classic commercial:

Squatty Potty Unicorn Commercial

One can sorta ‘fake’ a squatty potty by simply squatting on the floor while eliminating, instead of sitting on the toilet seat.

It’s more comfortable, though, IMO to squat while using the squatty potty platform, or to prop your legs on the platform while sitting on the toilet seat like usual.

I think ‘propping legs on squatty potty while sitting on the toilet like usual’ is how most people use the squatty potty.

I put my feet on the squatty potty, and then squat over the toilet, to use it. Very comfortable. Would endorse.

Anyone out there who is pooping is sitting or squatting when they’re doing so, regardless of if they have a penis or a vulva.

That in mind… not only do I squat/sit to poop, I also squat/sit to pee.

On why I sit when I pee #

For many years, I have almost exclusively sat down to urinate.

I have a penis, and I know it’s common-enough for others who also have a penis to stand when they pee.

I don’t like to stand when I pee.

I don’t remember exactly why I started sitting. It may have been after I took a back injury that left me unable to stand normally or without pain, even for very short periods of time, or maybe was already the case before then.

One quickly notices, when sitting to pee:

• it’s comfortable
• there’s zero splashing in any way, not on the toilet bowl, the seat, the area behind the seat, ones legs or pants.

One notices, if peeing while standing:

• one feels little dropplets of pee or toilet bowl water sometimes bouncing out of the bowl
• if one is wearing pants and thus not feeling the droplets on one’s skin directly… one is still splashing urine on one’s pants.

When one cleans a toilet regularly, it’s effortless to tell if someone is peeing in it while standing. There’s a yellow gunk buildup behind the toilet bowl from the constant splashing. nooooo thank you.

once someone, upon seeing me in the bathroom peeing for the first time, said:

that is the most attractive thing I’ve ever seen a man do.

🤷‍♂️. I say this person would be considered a credible evaluator of attractive attributes in people with penises.¹

By the way, when I am using public restrooms, I’m more likely to use a urinal and then stand off to one side, aiming to make as oblique an angle between the stream and the urinal, to achieve some of what is achieved with the shape of splashless urinals

If I use a regular seated toilet out in the while, I’ll almost exclusively squat over it (for peeing or pooping). I mostly squat over my toilet at home, too, but I combine it with the squatty potty for a very comfortable squat. (by that I mean my butt doesn’t come in contact with the seat often-enough)

This isn’t super novel to me. I use my own bathroom many times a day. I know plenty of other people with penises who also sit when they pee.

So, if you have a penis, and don’t often pee, consider trying it out more often and see what you think. If you have a penis and want to possibly reduce the cleaning burden of the toilet where one pees, certainly sit down.

And if you’re sitting, try squatting, AND try squatting WHILE USING THE SQUATTY POTTY. mega comfy.

Bidets and Wand Bidets #

Since at least 2019, I’ve used a bidet, exclusively, to clean after defecation. I long used a under-the-seat tushy bidet.

One still needs to dry oneself after using a bidet, so most people who have bidets still use toilet paper. It is a lot less toilet paper and used in a different way, because it’s needed soley to dry the skin.

When the pandemic happened and toilet paper shortages were a thing, it felt satisfying to not be affected. One can completely get off toilet paper by using a designated fabric wash cloth to dry, too.

The under-the-seat bidets can be sorta a pain to install. The warm-water function ends up being pointless.

I ended up switching to a wand-style, hose-style bidet a few years ago, and never went back. they come as a two-pack from Amazon for like $30, I’ve now installed them in quite a few different houses.

A bidet and especially a wand bidet helps with cloth diapers and elimination communication. Effortless to rinse out the container when used, or rinse of the cloth diaper if it has a little poop on it, before running it through the washing machine.

A wand bidet helps with cleaning the toilet itself, and if it’s near the tub, you can use it to rinse things off in the tub.

A wand bidet doesn’t interfere with the toilet seat.

The clip for holding it sits over the toilet bowl itself, so there’s no screws to be dealt with, it doesn’t even need to have a wall-mounted clip.

One doesn’t need to really touch oneself when using it - I direct the stream of water into my other hand, which I use to splash around or scrub anything that needs it. Using the second hand is key wand-bidet usage beta. One needs no hands when using a seat mounted bidet, but then one is getting a jet of water STRAIGHT TO THE BUTT! (or the vulva).

The wand bidet lets you easily direct the water to flow over, across, parallel to, anything that needs it. You don’t have to spray it straight at your skin. It’s extremely comfortable for anyone with pain or sensitivity in the region. Not having to use paper preserves the skin, if it’s sensitive. If one is pregnant and needing to use the bathroom a lot, a bidet of any sort is gold.

Notes on a two-container toilet system #

Long ago, a friend nerd-sniped me with this amazing book:

The Humanure Handbook: Shit in a Nutshell

I read it all, found it exceptional. Cannot unread it. Was written by someone a few miles from where I went to college, he said

instead of writing a PH.D dissertation about bacteriology that no one would read, I decided to write a book about humanure that no one would read… and now we’re on to the fourth edition. a surprising number of people have wanted to read this.

I was so curious by it, I ended up setting up a full, working, two-container toilet system.

This was possibly the most interesting thing I did that year, tons of learnings, and I kept being shocked at the convenience and ease that was being experienced as a result.

Alas, I no longer live in that house, but I plan on setting this all up again when I next have the opportunity.

I wrote in various ways/places a lot of words about what I experienced, and I’ll probably bring that here when I find them.

Small people peeing #

For eden, at home we have a portable toilet that is available to eden at all times. She usually likes to use the regular toilet, which has a stool in front of it, and usually gets a little help, if she wants. She sometimes opts to use her toilet.

In her stoller, I keep this portable kids toilet. She knows we always have it, or almost always have it, especially if we’re going out for a while, and we can use it under a tree or in a private-ish place, even when at a park, and it’s provided a lot of ease to all of us, when using a ‘regular’ bathroom isn’t an option.

Modern american bathrooms, especially at commercial facilities, have bright lights, bad accoustics, smells, strange sight lines, etc etc etc. Not super kid friendly. A portable toilet is mega convenient, mega peaceful. She also can still simply pee in the grass when she wants, though doesn’t exercise that option as much as she did as when she was an infant.

Conclusion #

I really like ease. I want ease, and usually I want it to be effortless. I know, I know. There’s a lot of ease baked into Eden’s elimination routines. That was a big piece of what I wanted to highlight. If you, or anyone you know, finds themselves on a path of helping a newly-born person sus out peeing and pooping, maybe you’ll think of some of these things.

Then, of course, the other main part of this piece has nothing to do with kids and helping kids use the bathroom - it has everything to do with helping me use the bathroom, and I like to be comfortable, clean, and I don’t mind at all being a little unconventional.

on that note, I’m gonna go use the bathroom/squatty potty/my ability to squat/a wand bidet/a washcloth, brb

It feels strange to type so many words about urination (and, of course, technically, defecation), in some ways, and yet I also know I spend a lot of time/frequency peeing. It’s a pretty core human experience.

I like things to be easy (squatty potty for me, elimination communication for infant), clean (wand bidet, sitting to pee), and I like where I’ve ended up.

Footnotes #