Benefits of helplessness
The last few days were rough, strangely enough. I live in beautiful Golden, Colorado with my best friend (who I happen to be married to), and I’ve got a pretty cool job to boot. That’s the “big three”, right? (Relationships, work, location.) Yep. Except from Thursday through Monday, I was more or less sick as a dog. I could barely talk, slept extremely poorly, and had a fever that was usually north of 101. I spent a lot of time sleeping, and the rest of the time wishing I was asleep.
We spent a lot more at Rite Aid than we normally would, I watched a lot of movies, and played a fair amount of video games. (More accurately, I existed in the same physical spaces as a movie that was turned on. My attention wandered, as did my consciousness.) I read about six paragraphs, over those six days, and worked at least a few hours of them.
So - what good came from these five days?
Plenty. I just have to look for it.
I was loved by my wife. I didn’t have to lift a finger in my own aid. It’s rare that I’m totally bedridden, and it was good let myself be served, free of guilt and trying to serve back. Marriage isn’t 50/50. These last few days it was 100/0.
I was forced to do nothing.
It was harder than I first expected, mostly because a lot of the things I normally would do I was unable to do.
I am blessed. These last few days helped that really sink in.